Beyond Punishment: Shaping Positive Behavior in Children

Physical punishment is a widely debated topic, with many parents relying on it to correct their children's misbehavior. However, emerging research and expert opinions strongly suggest that physical punishment is not an effective strategy for long-term behavioral change.

Professor Rose Mini Agoes Salim, a prominent psychology expert, emphasizes the detrimental effects of physical punishment on children's development. She asserts that such practices can lead to aggression, violence, and diminished self-esteem in children, leaving them feeling humiliated and stressed.

Instead of resorting to punishment, Professor Salim advocates for a more constructive approach known as "shaping." This method focuses on nurturing a child's understanding, emotional intelligence, and practical application of rules and good behavior.

Understanding the Root of Misbehavior

Before implementing any disciplinary approach, it's crucial to understand the reasons behind a child's misbehavior. Professor Salim highlights three key reasons:

• Lack of understanding: Children may not fully comprehend the rules or the consequences of breaking them.
• Attention-seeking: Some children might engage in misbehavior to gain attention from those around them.
• Circumstances: Specific situations might force children to break rules.

By addressing these underlying factors, parents can tailor their response to the child's individual needs, fostering a more productive and positive learning environment.

Shaping Positive Behavior: A Holistic Approach

Professor Salim's "shaping" approach focuses on three interconnected aspects:

1. Cognitive: Parents should actively help children understand the rules and their consequences, making these concepts clear and relatable.
2. Affective: Guiding children to recognize and understand their emotions associated with the rules. This helps them develop emotional regulation skills.
3. Psychomotor: Providing practical support for children to apply rules and good behavior in real-life situations.

Through this holistic approach, children gradually learn to internalize the value of rules and good behavior, understanding that these choices ultimately benefit them.

Professor Salim strongly emphasizes the importance of calm and consistent communication in shaping children's behavior. By communicating calmly and empathetically, parents can create a safe and supportive environment where children feel understood and valued.

Ultimately, the goal of parenting is to guide children toward responsible and ethical behavior. While punishment might seem like a quick fix, it often leads to negative consequences for children and doesn't address the underlying causes of misbehavior. "Shaping" offers a more positive and effective alternative, fostering a strong parent-child relationship built on mutual understanding and respect.